DAMN

laptop power cord broke.

badly.

no updates for a long while.

using Mo's comp. as soon as it gets fixed i will be back.

9/365

i volunteered today. it was nice to get out and be around women who feel the same way i do, and volunteer for these causes too.

Mo hurt his back BADLY yesterday.

i have a really bad case of the fuck-its.

but Burgerville switched their ice cream formula back to the good stuff. YAY.

8/365

short day working today. but it was still way too early!

i have been trying to fool around with my camera. the pics look good on the cam display, then i upload them, and they look odd...

time just just set it to auto again i think.

Morgan, my husband, hasnt made a huge presence in my blog. I just dodnt want to intrude on his privacy. but, it has been made clear that he doesnt mind. and feels a bit left out.

i assure him, and anyone reading he is NOT left out of my life, and he has a huge presence in my life, and he means the world to me. as much as my children do.

my life really does revolve around my family. and i have NO problems with that. i love my family so much, and without them i would be completely lost. they are the driving force in my life.

tomorrow i am volunteering for one hour at St V's (where Addys birth went horribly wrong) for the Nursing Mothers Counsel of Oregon, of which i am a peer phone counselor and volunteer.

I am looking forward to it honestly.

I havent done anything in the public for quite a while, other than grocery shopping, etc. so this will be nice, talking to the public about an important thing in my life.

i have been baking alot recently, cookies, banana almond coconut muffins, brownies. a bunch of deliciousness. it makes me happy to provide home baked treats made with wholesome ingredients like unprocessed whole wheat flour, and honey, and oats, and coconut oil, and bananas. the kids feel like they are getting away with something, and i know i am adding to their daily dose of nutritional YUMMINESS.

7/365

should i just give up? it is wednesday. i missed two days.

so, a few pics to make up for it. a puppy pic (the lil white n black/brown boy is up for grabs now!!), one or two of me. and one of *Bean* and one of *Bug*

letsee...*Bean* is sick, stayed home on Monday, and today. Morgan stayed home Monday too.

I am feeling a lil better, and *Bug* is boogery.

cookies are in the oven, kids are eating lunch, i feel so damn domestic.

6/365

sick. so very sick.

muscles are stiff and sore. more so than normal.

coughing, sinuses full to the point of pain, headache, sore throat. the works

and the girls are sick too, runny noses, coughs, cranky, mild fevers.

and yet, they are running circles around me. the manic little heathens!

my house is trashed, my kids are half naked, and climbing the walls, and i can barely get off the couch.

Thank goodness i had yesterday, today, and tomorrow off work. cause i would be worhtless to other peoples kids right now.

no pictures today. i cant be arsed to take one.

crap

5/365, tho it should be 7/365

it is Saturday. i am sick.

we went grocery shopping at Trader Joes and stocked up. it feels good to have a full kitchen.

asked Mo to take a few flattering pics of me, now that i am wearing a 1x in dresses.

i got ONE ok pic out of the bunch.

i guess i really asked for it, knowing that he is a tech guy, and not a photographer, and if i wanted good pics of myself I should have set up a tri-pod or asked a friend.

My husband thinks i am lovely no matter what, so he doesnt mind taking pics of me when i look like a douchebag. i however mind.

my girls are pushing my limits of patience, dumping out ALL the toy bins and scattering them all over the house. and jeez, cant a mom go to the bathroom in peace?!

i am feeling really negative right now.

guess i need to go for a walk and pick up my meds, it has been a week without my zoloft, and i am FEELING it.

4/365

*C* and *S* just got picked up. it has been a LONG day.

Lots of bending and stooping over, and squatting to pick up toys, and talk to the kids on their level.

I am finding it difficult to relate to these children who have spent so much time in their fathers care while their mother works, and their father is.... very mainstream. punitive, physical punishments, shaming, etc. so these kids are sneaky about stuff, like food, and toys, and hurting each other, etc.

it has been trying.

*Bean* and *C* like to play pretend together, and they keep each other pretty busy, in a good way, so I am able to focus on the littles, *S* and *Bug*, and tomorrow *E* as well. but when *Bug* is having a hard time with waking early, with me not in the bed, and then wants to nurse all day up til lunchtime, it makes it really difficult to meet everyones needs, including those of the household such as folding laundry and washing dishes.

Today, Mo my husband was able to spend time with *Bug* in the bedroom, and she fell asleep for a nap before he even left for work at 11. and slept til a little after 1. Lucky *C* and *S* got my undivided attention, and we had a dance party, and worked on stretches, and speech.

I am tired, and want to nap before *Bean* gets home from school, but *Bug* is awake now, and while i could put Dora on Mo's computer and just snuggle her while i sleep with the door locked... i just dont think i feel too comfortable with that.

and with the nods, i leave you with a few pics of my living room, in all its messy glory, 5 minutes after getting picked up, and 5 minutes before the next pick-up.